Thank you to everyone who has been there for me in the last three weeks. Whether you were a shoulder to cry on, a moment of laughter or words of inspiration I owe a lot to all my friends and family. It has taken me awhile to realize that I need to move on and not dwell on something that I have no control over but I understand that now. In the last three weeks I have put myself out there, meeting new people and going on new adventures. In that time I have learned that it is okay to go out and have some fun, that I love to meet new people and that I have the best friends that anyone could ask for. So thank you once again to everyone that supported me and helped me realize how good my life is.

don’t guys know they are suppose to “protect her, fight for her, kiss her, love her, hold her, laugh with her… but not make her fall, if you don’t plan to catch her”…

I really wish the guys in my life knew this because being shattered takes the fun out of life…

key to my Heart!

So many girls have this whole list of qualities and expectations that a guy must live up too and if the guy isn’t perfect then they aren’t good enough and get written off. Those same girls are the ones who tell other girls they are settling when they aren’t with the “perfect” guy. There is a definite difference in settling and being with someone who has imperfections. To settle is to be with a guy who doesn’t treat you as you should be treated and doesn’t care, or completely disregards you. For anyone who is in a relationship that isn’t settling then you are with someone who isn’t perfect. But to find love or have a relationship you have to be willing to accept the others imperfections and view them as perfectly imperfect. If you are with someone who has flaws that you can live with or that they are willing to work on in order to make your relationship work then you know you are on to something and you aren’t settling. I have no respect for anyone who ever tells me that I am settling, I have to much respect for myself to be with someone who doesn’t treat me right. It isn’t easy for me to let people into my heart because to often have I been disappointed, so those people who have made it are something special and in no way could it be considered “settling” if they have found their way into my heart. If you can look me straight in the eye and tell me that I am settling for someone I love then it is me you are looking down upon. That is you saying my feelings and heart are not important enough to make a judgment call about a person.

What girl doesn’t find it adorable when a guy sends you cute and dorky text messages randomly? Or who is willing to take his time to help you prepare craft projects for elementary school kids for the holidays? Or one who knows your adopting a needy child to buy Christmas presents for, so he adopts one too.

Everyone knows that I am not an easy person to put up with. I am moody and emotional and get frustrated easily. I am a workaholic and always take on more then I can handle, I love being stressed out but its my worst nightmare. I need to feel needed and have attention, going without attention depresses me. At the same time I have to feel like I am wanted and I need my guy to be a gentlemen but I am independent and like to things for myself. To find a guy who is willing to put up with me, who can find his way into my heart and be happy is a challenge and I am not easily made happy so how can you tell me that I am “settling”?

What is wrong with people? When will people understand that words dont mean anything unless their actions back them up. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! That is the only word to describe how fed up I am, why does it take so long to figure life out? Life is a Bitch and that is just the way it is, I dont know why I keep expecting anything more then failures and disappointments along the road. I shouldn’t be expecting others to bring me success or happiness because this is my own life and I am the only one who can bring success to my life and I am the only one who can make myself truly happy. Guess the sooner I get that through my head the better off I will be because this really sucks and I dont want to be like this anymore. Or maybe the people who keep saying things they dont mean will realize how much it effects others and will actually back themselves up…. but I won’t get my hopes up


hmm full day of classes tomorrow, followed by finishing up my RA form and getting it turned in then going the to student employment office and filling out paperwork before picking up my job app. Then filling out my FAFSA and going to the KD meeting. School has officially started again…

Dear school I am not happy with you…

This isnt a good way to start the quarter, I am missing two required textbooks thanks to late additions by the professors. I have no idea where my classes are except for my 9am class which is on the other side of campus : ( Plus yesterday I looked at my schedule compared to the group gym classes I want to go to and I can no longer go to the gym on tuesdays thank to Th 101 at 6 30 : ( My new gym days are going to by wednesday and thursday, hopefully. I guess I didn’t end last quarter to well either, since I didn’t get the GPA I wanted. Then i realized my eng prof never entered a grade for my final paper, emailed her and finally a good thing…. she is having me resend her the paper so she can correct my final grade which will mean i receive the GPA that I was hoping for : ) Hopefully this is a sign that things are going to get better. Well, until the end of the quarter that is, it will be the worst part no matter how great the quarter turns out…. dang it

I dont even know what to say! I am so sick of people, like really… are you joking. When is this all gonna stop! it is so great finding out the people are suppose to be able to trust are the ones trying to screw you over. If you really think I am going to put up with this crap then you have it all wrong. I have been dealing with so much other crap lately, I dont need you adding to the drama. It is about time you find someone else to fuck with because I am done with this!

So relieved…

two days left of classes before I am free!! But the biggest relief was to look up my grades and see that the lowest grade I currently have is an 82%. Which means if my final English paper turns out well I will have succeed in achieving the GPA my adviser is constantly nagging me about!!

no one tells you about the three rings…

the engagement ring

the wedding ring

the suffe”ring”

- that 70’s show